Stuck Where You Are and more fortunate than you know Alan Robert Neal 9780615815541 Books
Download As PDF : Stuck Where You Are and more fortunate than you know Alan Robert Neal 9780615815541 Books
When I was a kid, a friend's wooden glider got lodged into a tree, and I attempted to free it with the toss of a rock. Unfortunately, I had not accounted for the fact that I was standing on an incline, so what I thought was straight up was not. The rock never came close to the glider or even the tree. Instead, it came crashing down on an unintended target, thus shattering two things the windshield of a Chevy Impala, and the neighborhood record for the most expensive window broken by an eight year-old.
We are all affected by our foundation, whether it is the physical ground on which we stand, or the emotional one on which our well-being is based. As adults, we look for level ground. Better situations. Better people. Better circumstances. But often, it still doesn't feel right. No matter what we do, for some, the ground continues to feel un-level.
If you had spent your entire childhood standing on an incline, what are the chances of you knowing how to stand up straight? Given your experience, what feels like level ground might really be a hill. So, by the time you reach adolescence and adulthood, the ground isn't your problem. It's your posture and your perception. And, if you don't realize it, you will continue standing on hills while wondering why everything keeps rolling away.
To paraphrase Confucius and Buckaroo Banzai, "Wherever we go, there we are." That's the very definition of being stuck. Most people either feel stuck or worry about getting stuck — either fearful of not achieving what they want, or afraid of losing it once they get it. If they're not changing their circumstances, they're trying to change themselves. All the while, they say they want to be loved for who they are, but in most cases, by "who they are" they mean "who they wish we were".
That's the reason I wrote "Stuck Where You Are". It wasn't written with a particular type of person in mind, other than someone who is interested in personal growth. There's no arguing about the benefit of books for specific audiences — books for women, books for married couples, etc. — but, just as it is for learning an instrument or playing a sport, there are fundamentals that apply to all people. For instance, you wouldn't go to a piano teacher to learn the violin, or a football coach to learn baseball, but you would certainly benefit from learning the fundamentals of proper breathing, nutrition, posture, and rest no matter which instrument or sport you were playing. Likewise, there are some essential fundamentals related to how we can assess, treat, and grow ourselves.
Since it's often easier to recognize our own behavior when we see it in someone else, the book contains several dozen very short stories about several dozen people. As the stories illustrate, it's not a matter of age, gender, or circumstance. It's about being human.
So many of our misunderstandings start at any early age and get compounded. There's no original thinking in that conclusion. What might be different from the norm, in my approach, is that I don't believe that anything should be thrown out. I think all of our thoughts and behaviors, no matter how inconvenient, can be beneficial if properly applied.
Maybe what you think are your problems are not. And, if that's the case, many of your childhood solutions and declarations don't apply. Maybe the ground and you are just fine, and the biggest problem you have is that you simply don't know it.
Stuck Where You Are and more fortunate than you know Alan Robert Neal 9780615815541 Books
Alan Neal's Stuck Where You Are turns self-improvement on its head. Most books promise that you can change yourself to be anything. Shy to social, scared to bold, fat to thin, just follow the author's advice and presto! I think we all know, either from intuition or experience, that sort of thinking isn't sustainable.The premise of Alan Neal's book is that we have the characteristics we have and that they are never going away. Those characteristics, which we call "good" and "bad," together make us who we are. To get rid of them is to get rid of who we are. The challenge, he suggests, is not to get rid of our "bad" characteristics but rather to put them in healthy relationship to each other and to ourself.
For example, the hyper-vigilance of a child of an alcoholic might be thought of as "bad." However that characteristic was once an appropriate response to a real situation: the child's situation. For the grown man or woman, it is now maybe seen as a liability: the inability to fully trust a companion, for example. This book would have us understand that that hyper-vigilance is still a valuable trait (when walking through a dark parking lot to our car, for example). The opportunity is to recognize when it is appropriate and when it is not appropriate. Considering its warnings against the circumstances, honoring those warnings when appropriate and acknowledging but not subscribing to those warnings when they are not appropriate. Instead of resisting qualities we wish we didn't have, Alan Neal encourages us to realign them to our good.
This book has many such related lessons, leading us through a number of situations where our attributes may be operating inappropriately. There are many opportunities in this book, large and small, to change how our many attributes run in our lives day to day. He covers a very broad range of things from our surprising hidden entitlements to our wildly misplaced self-criticisms. The beauty of his lessons are that we do not have to become something different, we simply need to make sure all our attributes operate as often as possible when they are appropriate to situation. He does this in easy, interesting, short chapters, each built around a single subject. The book is a quick read, with a new opportunity to see ourselves differently on every page.
If you're reading this, you're almost certainly looking to make powerful, important, life-long changes. If so, buy Stuck Where You Are now, you'll be very glad you did!
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Stuck Where You Are and more fortunate than you know Alan Robert Neal 9780615815541 Books Reviews
I know the author means well but this book is written at a level that might help, at best, motivate a high-school senior to become "unstuck" -- but certainly not a traveled adult. There is hardly anything offered this book that one couldn't otherwise glean via some casual conversation with a good friend or a local barkeep.
There are some healthy reminders contained in the far-too numerous chapters, but the tone is preachy and redundant.
Stuck Where You Are examines some of life's most frustrating and recurring problems, suggests why we react like we do and describes what we can do differently. The solutions are direct and tangible, and ones we really can implement throughout the day.
Just got this on . I can't believe how quickly I got answers to tough situations. The answers were mine. Each chapter made me think and well, I resolved quite a few problems. Not to mention the author is pretty funny.
I just read this book for the second time. I have, as the author says, spent a lot of my life worried about heading over the embankment on a windy mountain road, and thus driving straight towards it. Will the advice and suggestions in this book fix everything that I think is wrong? Of course not. But each little section helped me better understand how to work with what I have instead of hoping for better cards. It's straight forward and blunt, and it is a lot more honesty than you will get from most people.
I need to start out with a full disclosure. I'm related to the author, so I am undoubtedly biased. That said...
The book is an easy read and appears deceptively simple. The underlying message is somehow complex and common sense at the same time.
I didn't start off with a plan to learn anything new about myself. I was simply interested in reading stories and accounts of other people -- people who hopefully had interesting quirks, oddities and problems.
It quickly and sometimes embarrassingly became apparent (as Alan noted at the very beginning) that, with a couple of tweaks, I could have easily been one of the people he was writing about. Who knows... maybe I was.
I'm not a big self help book fan, however this book was recommended by a mentor of mine so I gave it a shot. This book is very easy to read, and the short stories make it really easy to connect to. The author doesn't claim that he'll fix you, but he's taken something that can seem quite complex (why we behave the way we do) and made it quite easy to understand (without the fluff or pretension that makes reading other self help books torture). I think this understanding is the first real step in getting what you want in life. This book would be good whether you are just starting to look into self help, or have travelled a ways down the road and need to get to something deeper.
One of life's best fortunes is to have a coach helping you learn to love yourself for who you are, and helping you make incremental changes to allow others to love you as well.
Alan has been doing this for years and has had a profound affect on just about everyone he's touched. The book shares some of these stories in a way that will allow the open minded reader to find themselves in the stories and start thinking about ways to change or simply to get more comfortable with who they are.
My first read started to identify a couple of the stories with a direct connection to myself. One of them went right to my core. The closing stories are simple profound statements about life.
Jump in. You will appreciate your life better and start to make changes that you can handle.
Alan Neal's Stuck Where You Are turns self-improvement on its head. Most books promise that you can change yourself to be anything. Shy to social, scared to bold, fat to thin, just follow the author's advice and presto! I think we all know, either from intuition or experience, that sort of thinking isn't sustainable.
The premise of Alan Neal's book is that we have the characteristics we have and that they are never going away. Those characteristics, which we call "good" and "bad," together make us who we are. To get rid of them is to get rid of who we are. The challenge, he suggests, is not to get rid of our "bad" characteristics but rather to put them in healthy relationship to each other and to ourself.
For example, the hyper-vigilance of a child of an alcoholic might be thought of as "bad." However that characteristic was once an appropriate response to a real situation the child's situation. For the grown man or woman, it is now maybe seen as a liability the inability to fully trust a companion, for example. This book would have us understand that that hyper-vigilance is still a valuable trait (when walking through a dark parking lot to our car, for example). The opportunity is to recognize when it is appropriate and when it is not appropriate. Considering its warnings against the circumstances, honoring those warnings when appropriate and acknowledging but not subscribing to those warnings when they are not appropriate. Instead of resisting qualities we wish we didn't have, Alan Neal encourages us to realign them to our good.
This book has many such related lessons, leading us through a number of situations where our attributes may be operating inappropriately. There are many opportunities in this book, large and small, to change how our many attributes run in our lives day to day. He covers a very broad range of things from our surprising hidden entitlements to our wildly misplaced self-criticisms. The beauty of his lessons are that we do not have to become something different, we simply need to make sure all our attributes operate as often as possible when they are appropriate to situation. He does this in easy, interesting, short chapters, each built around a single subject. The book is a quick read, with a new opportunity to see ourselves differently on every page.
If you're reading this, you're almost certainly looking to make powerful, important, life-long changes. If so, buy Stuck Where You Are now, you'll be very glad you did!
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